Bowen White Blog

A Suspiciously Healthy Elder

Last week I got a chance to work/play with a very wonderful man named Bill Fay. Bill lost his first wife to Alzheimer’s 12 years ago and the experience caused him to see first hand a need that wasn’t being met.  Those patients need help.  As a result he started a non-profit called Alzheimer’s Helpers.

Bill is “retired” in north Florida although retired is the wrong word.  He is very far from retired.  He is fully engaged in life and the lives of Alzheimer’s patients at 9 nursing homes in his area.  Not only is he a perfect example of what active aging is all about, he is a wonderful example of a suspiciously healthy person.

The definition of health I use is the ability to work, love, play and think soundly.  I stole this definition from Ashley Montagu’s book GROWING YOUNG and used it in WHY NORMAL ISN’T HEALTHY: How to find heart, meaning, passion and humor on the road most traveled.

Bill has a passion to give those folks afflicted with a devastating disease a loving, joyful and playful experience on a regular basis.  He and his wife AnnaMarie together with a small group of volunteers visit Alzheimer’s patients with an openhearted, compassionate hand. They play with them, take them out for adventures and create positive experiences for everyone present.

He came to a presentation I did in his area in January.  I used my alter ego, Dr. Jerko for that talk.  We had a great time and his initial response was to have me come back and do something for his Alzheimer’s friends.  However, as he thought about it he decided that it would be even better to do something to honor the Certified Nurse Assistants.  After all, these good folks are the ones that spend the most time and give most of the care to Alzheimer’s patients.

And that’s what we did last week.  He had me come down to Mt Dora, Florida and do a presentation for CNAs to honor and celebrate them. In the hierarchy of status in health care facilities CNAs, those in the trenches with Alzheimer’s patients who clean their bodies then their sheets before they can even be sent to the wash, don’t get much. Well, Bill turned that around at least for a day.

He used Lake Receptions, a very nice meeting facility and invited CNAs from the places he serves to come to a continuing education program and be served a delicious lunch.  There were party favors and door prices.  The entire atmosphere was festive orchestrated by Bill and AnnaMarie. I had the honor of surprising them as the instructor in my clown character, Dr. Jerko.   And 96 invited guests and Dr “J” had a ball talking about the importance of healthy support.

Afterwards, one of the managers of a facility told me that Bill was a godsend.  For example, she related a story about a patient who needed a chair and there was no money available.  She talked to Bill, he worked his wonders and came up with the $3600 chair.  If health is the ability to work, love, play and think soundly as one follows a path that has heart, meaning, passion and humor then Bill is indeed “suspiciously healthy”.  And if you want to send him a donation, apart from the fact that he spent some bucks to bring me in, he'll spend it wisely.  www.alzheimershelpers.org

 

TGIM: Turning Work into Play

When was the last time you heard TGIM?  Better put, have your ever heard anyone upon arriving at work Monday morning say, TGIM?  Perhaps not.  But I'd wager that you've heard TGIF on many Fridays at work.  There's even a restaurant chain that exploits the sentiment. Why is that? 

Could it be that on Monday morning one sees five more days of work ahead.  OMG !  Five more days until the next weekend.  Shit !  ( That's a medical term ) And on Friday, for those of us that are M-F workers it's, Whoopee we're almost there.

I think that's a good example of normal-not being-healthy.  If that is so, how can we move toward a healthier approach to work?  How can we capture some of that TGIF lifting of the spirits and infuse it into M-Th?  Perhaps we'll have to break the rules. If we simply do what we were taught to do on the road to becoming grownups, we'll do what the grownups did that came before us. We'll replicate the status quo. And I don't think we are here to replicate the status quo.

I think that we are here to take the best of what we got and make it better. After all, we are the people we used to complain about. We are them; the leaders, the parents and yes, the grownups ! We carry the culture on our shoulders.  It's our turn. What are we going to do with our turn? Ah, there's the rub.

 Let me give you an example. Right now you hear about the importance of having balance in your life, i.e., work life, personal life balance.  Which I think is funny because aren't you a person at work? And when you go home is all the work over? No way. So we have work to do at work and we have work to do at home. Well what did we hear from the grownups that was the secret to success? Hard........................................ work!

That's right, hard work's the secret to success. So guess what we know how to do? Work hard. That's right. Work hard at work. Work hard at home.  When does the fun start? After work?! You see the problem.  We're just doing the best job we can with the information we got about how to do grownup. I mean how many people do you know that had parents who said, " forget your homework, get out there and play" or "forget your chores, if you want to get ahead in this world get out here and play"... 

So we know how to work hard but have a problem being playful.  As a culture we don't honor play. We don't value play and it's a shame. Why?  Because much of what we do as grownups is problem solving.  Serious problems require serious solutions.  Right?  Wrong! Serious problems require creative and innovative solutions.  And being playful, playing with a problem, frees up our creative juices so that what we cook up surprises and delights.  

And don't you think work places that create an atmosphere of playfulness are more fun places to both work and do business?  And families where the parents are playful with their kids are healthier so that children feel more relaxed to be themselves and share their concerns?  So, I agree, we do need balance in our lives.  Work life, personal life balance?  

No! Work/Play balance.  Part of normal not being healthy is we get way out of balance on the work side of the fulcrum.  And when we do play it's competitive play in zero sum games with winners and losers.  So we turn play into work ! What I'm interested in is doing the reverse.  That is, turning work into play.  That way we don't have to wait until after work to have fun.  TGIM !

TGIF

Today's Friday, TGIF !

It's interesting with the economy in the tank those folks with jobs feel differently about them.  Sure everything about their job may not be perfect.  The hours aren't what they'd prefer.  Their boss is controlling and needs to micromanage.  Their coworkers may not be the folks with whom they would have chosen to spend day after day.  The money is only OK.  The work itself doesn't fully engage their talents. The insurance is only fair.  No dental.  Yadayadayada.....

But, and it's a big but, they have a job.  And how they feel about that fact is now markedly different.

Where before the job was a source of discomfort, frustration mixed with anger.  Now, to have work, to have a job when so many other folks don't or soon won't, is a source of comfort. Same job.  Same person. Yet everything's different.

They can live with the hours.  Their boss may not be perfect but who is?  Their coworkers aren't so bad either when you give them half a chance.  The money's not bad.  The work itself now engages the mind in a new way and one's talents also.  Sure no dental but at least they have health insurance.  That's a plus.  And, hey, it's Friday.  Things aren't half bad.  I'm pretty lucky.

 

Play

A wonderful book from my good friend, Stuart Brown, MD just released today!

Creating a Healthy Learning Environment, for students and teachers

 “In times of change it is the learners who inherit the earth while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists”  Eric Hoffer

How do you create a healthy learning environment for teachers as well as students?  

Just doing what we’re taught may not provide us with the tools or insights to lead children in this ever-changing world. The best students have the best teachers and the best teachers are the best listeners and learners. If we want students to be excited about learning, those that lead and serve them have to be excited about learning too.

What is required for learning? There are different learning styles. But what is the final common pathway of learning? The juggling metaphor answers the question.

Many people have tried to juggle three objects in the air.  Few actually learn.  Why?  Everyone, barring a physical handicap, can learn.  Yet, few do.  

The reasons, when one asks, vary.  However, they share one thing in common.
The effort was made and the results demonstrate an inability to learn.  The reasons are rationalizations. For example, “I have poor hand eye coordination”.
I have never met anyone that couldn’t learn to juggle. 

Just having that expectation for those I teach helps create the right environment for learning.
When I ask an audience for someone to come up and demonstrate the skill, they do.  Yet, when I ask what’s the secret to learning how to juggle, they waffle.  Why aren’t they able to easily explain? 

The answer, the secret is you don’t earn the right to have the skill until you drop the balls enough to “get it”.  When you’ve dropped them enough you don’t drop them anymore and then you know how to juggle.

Juggling is a great metaphor for learning. Everyone can learn to juggle just as everyone can learn algebra.  Why?  Because we learn everything through feedback loops.  You try something new. You fail. You get feedback. You make adjustments. You fail again. You get encouragement and more feedback. You make more adjustments. You fail again. The difference between the best teachers and the rest has to do with the quality of energy that we put out while we give the feedback. That energy needs to demonstrate that we care.

If they feel our warmth coupled with our honest feedback and we hold the expectation that they can learn, they eventually do. 

And it isn’t just the specific subject matter that they learn.  

They learn that they can learn just about anything.  So can we.